meeting Pradeep’s family

Pradeep and I were supposed to go to Humsafar and a museum after that but it was in the afternoon and kind of hot and his house was nearby so he suggested we stop for a half hour and then go. As it turned out I was interested in talking with his family and I just stayed the evening there.

His father Lagaadeji’s manner of speech seemed to me like that of a Dickensian gentlemen. He was a government employee for the railway for 33 years, now retired and working as an inspector for local schools. As he explained things, there are about 100 government-employed teachers in his area for kids below college level. He drops in unnannounced and sits in on their classes, then grades them. If there is a problem then he refers them to a committee. He told me some things about Maharastran history and on hearing my name he referred me to an American author named James Lane who wrote a biography on Shivaji. After building rapport he told me about his family.

In the way that Indians trained in British oration do, he told me he had three sons. He told that his eldest, Anand, was married, worked at some place, had a child, and that he lived at home and that I could meet him later. He told me that his second, whose name I forgot because I did not meet him, was married, worked at some place, had a child, and that he lived some distance from Mumbai. Then he said his third son, Pradeep, is married, works at clinics as you know, has a child, and is currently homeless. He told me that his child is 100 times more beautiful than Pradeep and said something to indicate that there is family tension. As I listened to him I got the impression that he knew quite well that Pradeep was with me and I with him because we intended to suck dick together. He then segued into telling me that he had a daughter, and that she was married and had two children, and that I should go meet them.

Pradeep took me to his sister’s home and on the walk there he apologized for not telling me that he was married and that he had a child. He she was in good spirits. She invited me to stay at her place that night as Pradeep had also been staying there. In the course of the evening she introduced me to her son who works in a call center and her daughter who is in school, and she introduced me to her husband. We talked for a while and they asked me how the Gay Pride rally was and what it was like to be gay in America. I enjoyed their company. They then said that we should go meet Pradeep’s wife, child, and in-laws.

On the walk over there Pradeep told me that he had not seen his wife for a couple of months. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to meet her now and he said yes, but only for a few minutes. We ended up staying there for about an hour. Everyone was very friendly to me. Upon arriving they had me hold his child, which felt very weird to me. They told me everyone’s name and what they did. I was sitting in a chair and I thought I was near a wall but at some point I looked back and realized that the wall was some distance behind me and I felt disoriented. Also I suddenly noticed that there was a rabbit on a shelf at my eye level. I looked at the rabbit and Pradeep’s mother-in-law noticed my interest and decided to get the rabbit for me to hold. She had been speaking Hindi throughout the evening so I was shocked when she said “Maharastra way of holding rabbit” and picked it up by its ears and handed it to me. I did not like seeing the rabbit held by its ears but it seemed calm enough and resigned to its fate of living on a shelf and being carried by its ears. I held the rabbit, and then Pradeep’s father-in-law arrived home from work. He told jokes and explained Hindu philosophy and had a lot of energy for someone who just got off work. I then had my photo taken with everyone.

After this Pradeep and I returned to his sister’s place. On the walk home I asked him if everyone knew the relationship between us. He told me that his sister’s family did but no one else did. I doubted his assessment but on the other hand the behavior of everyone else I had met that night seemed strange regardless of whether they knew or not. We chilled for a while with his sister’s family and we all slept in the same room. I always wondered how this works, but apparently the protocol is to wait for everyone to go to sleep then be quiet while being frisky.

The next day I said goodbye to everyone and told them I would return before leaving Mumbai. I did not think that my schedule was full but as things turned out I was unable to return. I wanted Nandan and Pradeep to meet each other again and have time to talk; it seemed to me that Pradeep was someone with whom I might want to either persue a relationship or work, but I feel that I should defer to native advice in these matters. After discovering that I would not meet Pradeep again I started talking with him by phone about every other day.

date with Pradeep and FPA office visit

I went on a date with Pradeep the next day. He had named some museums and said that we could go to Humsafar Trust. When I met up with him he asked me if I wanted to go to a clinic with him as he was due to get his third and last Hep B vaccine. I told him I did want to go. We went by train and Mumbai trains are sometimes so packed that people hang out the doors. Nandan tells me that every day newspapers show pictures of the faces of the dead who fell out of the train and died, and now need identification. Pradeep planned the trip for the slow part of the day and still the trains were so packed between certain stations that there was no room to move or even turn around. Pradeep and I were still being goofy and flirty and he would stand close to me and smile as he got pressed close to or against my face. We were against a wall in the aisle of the center of the train and I felt that even though we were entirely surrounded by people who were even hanging outside the train holding on for life, we were also alone because no one could turn their bodies to look at us. I started stroking his leg with one finger with my messenger bag in front of him and then just progressed over the thirty minute ride to stroking his dick through his pants while he kept a straight face. When we got off the train we could not stop laughing because we felt like we shared a secret.

Just outside the train stop we went to the FPA clinic. It was a large place which served many client populations and Pradeep had understated its importance in his description so I was pleasantly surprised. He told me that he used to work there as an outreach counselor and it was apparent that he was well-known and well-liked there. This made me more interested in him because it meant that he had good connections to Humsafar and this place, and probably also he knows other places. The FPA clinic’s mission is to do HIV education to anyone who comes there; Humsafar is only for MSMs. Pradeep was showing me around the place and it seemed to be equipped as well as any counseling clinic I have seen in America, with one big difference in that it also had a room with lots of single beds. Pradeep said it was for women to get abortions, but I am not clear on whether abortions were actually performed at this place.

I suddenly felt underdressed as I was wearing jeans and a collared t-shirt, and Pradeep introduced me to a male and female manager of the place. They both spoke Western counseling and public health jargon and I became aware that Pradeep also can talk this way, which surprised me somewhat as his English is good but not so good that I expected him to be more familiar with the lexicon of civic planners than the outreach workers in Seattle typically are. I was belted with lots of information I wanted and when I asked questions they were easily able to anticipate why I had asked the question and they told me what I wanted to know in addition to only answering my question. Throughout this they told me about their funding streams and oversight processes and that if I wanted access to the data which they collected then I should both contact their parent organization to request clearance to receive answers to questions and contact researchers to get their previously published interpretations of the numbers. The manager made a trusting gesture by telling me trivial bits of information which were not private but were beyond the purview of what they were supposed to tell strangers who come into their clinic and start poking around, and I took this as a hint that he would be willing to get me whatever I wanted if I made the request to his supervisor that I wanted his help.

After the talk I got some papers including an 2008 annual report. It is a beautiful document and I am eager to consume it and adapt it for Wikipedia. He apologized that it was outdated and told me there was better information for me.

Then Pradeep got his shot and we left.

Juhu Beach visit

The day after pride Mantu and Nandan wanted to chill but that night we went to Juhu Beach. Chowpatty Beach was contained in a neighborhood in Mumbai; I am sure it connected to the rest of the shoreline somehow but it seemed like one area to me. Juhu Beach went on for miles. When we went there I stood on the shoreline and saw the stars off in the darkness toward the ocean. I do not remember the last time I saw all the stars.

Children and older boys were playing on the beach. It seemed to me that small groups of friends would come together and then start interacting with other groups by frenquently exchanging members. It is a social system that is unknown to me – I am sure I have never been to any social event in Western culture were people mingle as freely or as intimately as people do in India. The people seemed very happy and I think it is likely that the people I saw visit the beach or some series of such places every day and have a lot of fun just running and playing with different people continually.

We had fresh pineapple juice and it was terrific. I have never had this before and it was a lot better than anything canned.

Welcome to India, your problems begin now!

Mumbai is huge and full of people. This is my first time visiting.

There was a snowstorm in DC and this led to me missing connecting flights and getting redirected through multiple carriers to finally arrive in Mumbai. I was compelled to go to Delhi and from there to Mumbai in order to arrive in time for pride. I had trouble getting a boarding pass there and called Nandan to let him know what was up. The first thing he told me was “Welcome to India! Your problems begin now!”

While waiting in Delhi I met some other people who had also left from DC into Doha and were now in the same situation as me, where Qatar had given them papers which were not being accepted for an onward flight. We were gathered near an information desk waiting area and when an airline rep arrived I thought it was strange that the scheduler would tell me and four other people to sit together for the same issue but not tell us about each other. I had not seen these people before and they had not seen me, but when the representative asked who had the issue with Qatar Airways we all spoke up and recognized the situation. The solution was to wait another hour then suddenly he returned, took us to a counter, and had the agent print us boarding passes for our onward flights. Anywhere else in the world I would say that the representative spent the hour arranging for our business, but when he told the agent to print our tickets I am almost sure that he just did this on his personal authority with the agent knowing nothing more, and I wondered if he could have done that in the beginning. Also, my bag did not follow me through this and I had to collect it from the airport the day after I arrived. The rebooking and baggage collection was all smooth and no time was lost in getting to my destination because of all this, but the process of the rebooking and the fact that in claiming one checked bag I had to show my passport to ten people and sign my name for half of them just reminded me very well of what it means to be in India.

database problems…

For a long time I have been wondering about the problem of providing software solutions to fix the problems I am having with data collection. I am not sure what the final solution will be, but here are some options which people have presented to me and which I have not fully explored.

The problem is that I have lots of data to sort. I need a problem wherein trained people can manage this data but untrained people ought to be able to access the same database and be able to have limited privileges to either read or write data. More specifically, I need a library in a box where a librarian can keep a catalog of books and users can read the catalog, create profiles, and check out book. Also I need health software where medical providers can keep electronic health records and patients can access them. Finally I need general survey software for social or market research. It is my thought that there ought to be some survey program where people can create survey files. When a survey file is loaded into the program, then the surveyor can conduct the survey and the respondent’s answers go into the associated repository. But if it becomes necessary to quickly do a different survey, then the surveyor ought to be able to quickly load a new survey.

I am not necessarily imagining online versions of any of these, and in any case, I do need them to work without internet access even if they can be synced to a network online. I need all of this for research in the developing world done by local people, so ultimately I need the software to be totally free because I cannot secure funding for licensing for all potential users. I would like the software to have a community base so that I can talk about it on forums. I really do not have time to develop any software, so I need it to work now also. I do not think I am asking to much when I suppose that these applications ought to already exist, but frankly, it disgusts me to think that almost every library in America, almost every doctors office, and almost every surveying project in every university use proprietary software modified uniquely to their own projects. The disconnect which this shows between current management and reality is staggering, as I see no notable benefit to the current system. I think it comes about by computer-ignorant senior management being preyed upon by devious computer designers. The way things ought to be is that there should be at least one free open source well-developed program for all these applications, and it ought to be funded either by the government and professional and business organizations.

Anyway – here are some starts. For library programs there are Bento and Koha. UNESCO has a library which totally sucks and is really shameful considering their mission; it is called CDS ISIS.

For health software the big free ones are Microsoft’s HealthVault, Google Health, and Dossia. Dossia is open source. GE Healthcare – that’s General Electric – is the largest provider of healthcare IT for hospitals, but what they do is commercial. Their program is called Centricity.

For social research I am not sure what to say. The United States government shares some parts of its census software, CSPro. The large database software suites are SAS, SPSS, and STATA.

Where to begin? It is really intimidating for me when I have no work support to research any of this and just want to get to work. And if I have problems, how can this stuff be of any use to more casual users or people in developing countries? I see the greed in software development and the lack of available software support as one of the greatest shames of the developed world. Everyone needs good software, the problem that it does not exist is never going to go away, and there is not good conversation on how we are going to develop these things and use them to promote global health.

purpose of this blog

This is Lane Rasberry's personal blog. None of the information on this blog is private, but it is personal and I have not written it with the intent to make it of public general interest. Anyone visiting this site has my permission to use anything they find here for friendly, share-alike purposes.