Sou and I visited the Grand Palace in Bangkok on 14 August 2013. We were returning back from Wikimania and were able to arrange a flight which passed through Bangkok and let us stay overnight, so we did. The night we arrived Sou wanted to visit the gay sleazy district. When we were in Hong Kong we had gone out one night to a bathhouse and met gay boys there, and we spent a lot of time wet and naked just talking to each other and the other guys. That was a positive experience in a positive place – the business model there (it was called Alexander’s) was that one paid the equivalent of $15-20 USD to get in and the place had like 100 guys there was was huge and every place was super clean because by necessity everything needed to be cleaned off regularly. They had a noodle bar for snacks and tea and a wet section with a hot tub, wet and dry sauna, and showers then a lounge with couches and food then some rooms in the back for whatever. I liked that because all the guys there were Hong Kong guys who were in a really good mood to be there, and I had doubts about finding anything fun in Thailand because I had heard that their boy district was designed for tourists with money.
Sou and I were in Thailand on the 13th and he wanted to see a boy club not knowing what to expect. I was curious too but way sleepy and could have skipped it, but I told him I would go briefly so that we could see what it was about. We went to a neighborhood block with lots of sex bars. Something that surprised me was the ratio of boys for sale to potential clients. It was like 10pm Wednesday night when we were there and there seemed to be 20 visitors to the district for at least 200 boys looking for work, and I although I did not have expectations I did not realize that the trade there was such a buyer’s market. That was not an atmosphere which attracted me, and I would rather be on more of a social level where everyone is voluntarily participating like at the sauna. Sou was expecting stage shows and dancing. The bars had stages, but few of them had shows and why should they anyway because no one was there. One club had five boys dressed like pop stars in a boy band performing on stage and that actually was cool, because they were actually dancing rather than looking awkward in underwear or less, and because costumes are often more attractive than just exposure. However, part of the fun of shows is being part of an interactive audience, and neither Sou nor I were identifying with the people there and they seemed only there to consume a show rather than participate as fans. We did not see non-Thai people around except for men older than us and seemingly in a different place in their lives and there not looking for what Sou and me wanted. It seemed to me that this particular sex district for gay guys was not also a gay neighborhood, and that was another thing I found odd. It was not a place where people lived. There was nothing to do there except sell sex, so it seemed like not the kind of place for gay guys to meet on dates, not a place for an LGBT center, no gay coffeehouse or non-sexworker gay bar, no place for stage shows which are not intended as sex advertisements, and no place for culture. I got the impression that the entire district was only for the benefit of tourists passing through and not actually a place for local gay guys, and I also dislike spending time at places intended to meet tourist expectations without contributing to local culture. I like the idea of sexy boy shows but I did not like the way it was executed there, and hope that someday the whole business can be managed with oversight from an empowered local gay community which does what it can to support its members. Sou said that it was not as he imagined. He told me he had never seen a gay neighborhood, and beyond mentioning that they exist in some cities I did not say more.
Sou knew nothing whatsoever about Thailand besides what he had heard from other Indians who had gone there, perhaps many times, without ever learning anything about the place. Or rather I should say, whatever it is that typical Indian tourists want to learn when they travel is difficult for Western people to recognize when they travel. Sou wanted his picture taken in front of all kinds of odd things, which was typical for him in any context, but he did not have much curiosity or expectation of what to see and he rushed to see a lot of things. I suggested we go see the Grand Palace in our day there, and we did, and it was cool, and we both enjoyed.
We took the public train to the airport and there was a British guy on his phone sort of crying and mostly angry about all the hassles he had in Thailand. It seemed to me that he had never visited anywhere but rich countries and everything about Thailand bothered him. He was complaining about crowds, dirt, people trying to sell him things, traffic, lack of English, and every other inconvenience for a rich person in Thailand. Sou was angry. I thought the guy was rude. Both of us were tired, but I considered telling the guy to be quiet in public. Normally I would have but it was not an argument for which we had time or energy.