I have been in England for more than a week now and I still have stomach problems. I have not gone to London simply because I do not want to spend time there thinking about toilets, plus there is something abnormal about my thought process right now.
I find myself especially excited and excitable in a strange way. I do not claim to be more self-aware than anyone else, and I hesitate to make a claim that I am currently experiencing a temporary altered state of perception due to some factor related to coming from India. Undoubtedly while I was in India I became physiologically ill and an effect of this was a creeping but sharp decline in my ability to think soberly. I found myself talking to myself frequently especially when I was in the heat of midday. This is not a regular habit of mine. I did other things that I thought were outside my personality, and I attribute this to physical sickness creating mental disturbance.
I am not so ill as I was in India, despite my using the toilet at least ten times a day. But now that I am here I have this low-level fear that is keeping me on edge. I continually get the idea that there is danger around me. I hear neighborhood noises and feel my heart beating faster; I come to a crosswalk on a street and even though there is no traffic I do not want to cross. When I was in London with my friends a few days ago, someone told me not to stand so close to traffic. I ignored the order, but then another person who had not heard the request also advised me to step back from the traffic. Such counsel is not given without reason; I must have changed my personal distance of comfort with respect to traffic.
I also find it odd that my body does not react in accord with my anticipation for doing daily tasks. I am very out of shape and I need very much to exercise. I get tired much too easily. Probably also getting to the gym will do a lot to calm my nervousness, as I suspect a connexion between accelerated heart rate from silly fears and the lack of heart rate acceleration from usual sources.
I plan to go to London tomorrow and chill. Thursday morning I go to London again to catch the flight out.