Yesterday was the last day of Navratri. For some reason, it was also Ram’s birthday, despite Navratri being a movable (lunar) holiday.
The picture here is of what was left after the yagna. A “yagna” is a fire ritual. A pandit came to our home from Bihar and read Sanskrit. Nandan, Bunti, Rajan, a small girl relative, and for part of the ritual Lado repeated words and added a mixture to the fire. The mixture included kindling of several specific types of wood, rice, certain seeds, molasses, gobar (cow dung), and other things. Rajan continually fed ghee (clarified butter) to the fire. At the end the pandit directed that Nandan add camphor and for the finale, a dried coconut.
I watched but as with other rituals since I have been here, I have limited the extent of my questioning to what is socially amiable. I have a lot of questions about many things which I have seen here, but there is no way that I would have time to ask what I want to know. Anyway, learning language is my priority, and once I can do that I think that learning the meanings of things will be much easier. I only ask what I can so far as the conversation allows, and when the conversation is over I do not bring up more issues.
A friend recently asked me if I came to India seeking spirituality. This is a good question, because practically all young Westerners who come here delve into Eastern religious philosophy. To clarify – my interest in religion is a personal curiosity; I neither seek nor expect changes to the tenets of my spirituality, although travel here to India cannot but affect a person. I have distanced myself from a significant amount of Hindu ritual, and this has worked for me because Nandan and most other Hindus instinctively anticipate the extent to which I am comfortable with participation. Unlike Christians and others, Hindus seem to have little interest in converting others to their faith. Generally, I watch everything, I do things that crowds do, but when the time comes to make a personal contribution of prayer, sacrifice, etc. I step forward and offer those things in respect for the culture rather than in devotion to the gods, and I make it clear to all present that I am distinctly Catholic because although they assume Christianity they ask for confirmation.
For example, during this yagna, I sat as close to the fire as anyone else and I watched the entire ritual but I did not throw the mixture on the fire. However, when the ritual was other, the pandit offered the prashad (communion) to Durga (the goddess for whom the ritual was performed) and when he distributed candy and a banana, I took and ate a share. Nandan has assured me that he understands the differences between our religion, and that his ways are distinct from mine, and that my interest could be called academic. He tells me that my participation is legitimate even with the qualifications which I impose.
I saw some strange family tension after this yagna. Hindus always seem to want prashad. It is always sweets or something tasty. Customarily, a good snack comes to everyone after a major ritual like this one and it is supposed to be spiritually uplifting as well as physically cheering. Cousin Devanan and his Italian wife Lara refused and insulted this prashad today.
Let me tell the story again. Devanan – who has recently married an Italian and now is “rich” – is stiltedly rebelling against Indian tradition. This is obvious to me in the things he says and does, and then Nandan and Rajan gossip further about things like his refusal of prashad and his not wearing the janeu (Ashu’s janeu, as I described in my last post, was a major rite). The prashad is not mere food; it is representative of the love of God for man in giving him fine marks of civilization, here namely sugar and milk and fruit. It is a gift from the family, and as such, should not be refused lightly or at least not openly.
Lara led the refusal by saying that Hinduism is not her religion. Previously she has said that she is only here because life is inexpensive; Varanasi to me, though, would be a rotten place to live if you did not intend to participate in the culture, because then you are cut off from the people as well. This suits her lonely ways but Devanan surely will not be able to shake his roots. Devanan followed her this time, but as Nandan told me, he offered a lot of coconuts to Durga before his marriage to insure that he could successfully wed a European. Both of them, I am told, only would take a crumb each, and that they would give their sweets and bananas to the washerwoman when she came.
The washerwoman will be baffled. She, like everyone else here, has never heard of anyone refusing prashad and certainly would think it very strange to receive someone else’s.
I went to M.N.’s Assi house today and studied a bit. He wants me to start speaking Hindi within fifteen days now, not thirty, and now I am a bit scared. I can do this. I write with mostly correct spelling without looking up words, but still I have difficulty speaking. I know I can do this, though, and it is time to speak more Hindi than English. It is much less tiresome to study than I remember it being in the past.