I am learning the routines of my family.
Nandan has been minding me for a large part of everyday. I like spending time with him but I am hitting a major bump in that I still do not have a lot of confidence in Hindi and he is able to express any idea in English, if not with perfect grammar. He is a smart person and I know that I have not known him for long, but when I look at him I think of business. He has an MBA and has a way about him that shows Western taste and appeal beyond many others here. I do not know what he wants to do with his life but probably he would rather be paid in dollars than rupees. I live with him, so I will get to know him.
His brother Rajan is a happy person and devout beyond his family, but not fanatically so like a really enthusiastic Southern US protestant. He talks a lot about power. I still have trouble with this word, but a lot of people use that word to describe the target of practicing Hindu religion.
I ask in a lot of ways why people do things, and often they say “shakti” or “power” or “moks power.” There is this one deity, Durga, which seems to be an evil female demon, and I ask various people why they perform puja to it. I would translate the word “puja” to mean “worship,” but again, it is not a perfect translation. Nandan and Rajan are quite nonchalant about telling me that people who perform puja to Durga get power, but possibly if they worship her to much they might go insane. I continually ask why things are done, and Nandan says for power…
We went by this ashram with statues of stacks of skulls around it. I asked Nandan about it and he said they dealt with ghosts. He asked me about Christian concepts of ghosts, and I told him about exorcism. I asked him if the Christian definition of ghost matched the Indian definition, in particular were ghosts incorporeal, possibly lost souls or possibly eternally spirit, did they haunt places, etc. In every way the Hindu definition seems to match the Christian definition. I asked Nandan if this ashram has people who perform exorcisms, and he paused for a few moments and I thought he was going to explain something profound. But then he said no… when a place is haunted, or a person is possessed… the people in this ashram – rather than exorcise the ghost – do puja to get power from it. Nandan is good to me because I laugh a lot at the things he says, and I like that he understands my amusement and that I mean no offense. He has told me as much.
Nandan is quite Western in his sensibilities as well, moreso than his family. His whole family may be odd. His father speaks good English but has a thick accent. He is 66 years old and seems thoroughly educated. Nandan told me that he once worked for a bank. Rajan also speaks good English, but he has trouble understanding me sometimes and coming up with the proper words occassionally. He is 22 and studying math and physics, and will have an undergraduate degree in a few months. I met Nandan’s older brother, who must be around thirty. His English is almost without accent and he also speaks good Italian. He claims to intimately know every major Italian city and even most small ones, and I do not doubt him. He lives in Delhi and I only met him as he visited on business. Nandan tells me that he had an intercaste marriage – it is rare for a Brahmin to marry a Kshatriya girl, but Nandan tells me it worked for them.
Nandan’s cousin – I do not know his name – is a bit nouveau riche… he married a rich Italian girl – Nandan tells me this is coincidental and totally unrelated to his brother’s ability to speak Italian – and he does like to talk about the prices of European things. He seems harmless enough, and I know the type, but I like that despite his being a neighbor Nandan’s family distances themselves from him just a bit. Nandan’s mother speaks a bit of English and I like her but she often stays secluded.
Nandan’s wife is pretty and seems a bit younger than he. Nandan tells me they had a love marriage – rare here – and that a year after eloping she became pregnant. They both carried on as if dating throughout this time, then sometime around the child’s birth they ran away from home to Mumbai for about a month. He has a crazy story about family tension that would make no sense in an American context but I know a little about Indian culture and make some sense of it. Things seem lovely now and I have met his wife’s family. They are all terrific but do not speak good English. They seem to adore Nandan and they certainly love the grandchild, a boy of almost two years of age. Nandan invited me to some sort of head-shaving ritual for two-year olds. This will be held next month, and pending family approval I will attend.
I stayed home from class Monday and Tuesday this week because of a fear that Nandan’s family had of my being out at night during a Muslim festival. I saw from a distance some boys, a lot of boys, running the streets and beating their chests. This is a Shia tradition that laments the death of a son of Mohammed. Nandan has a Sunni weaver who told me (through Nandan) that they regard this as unnecessary. Nandan tells me that boys cut and flagellate themselves, and that they trance and go mad and get violent. I certainly empathized with his very real fear as we watched the boys run from some distance away, but the idea of hiding is new to me. I have no regrets about taking his advice though – my class is 7-9pm and I would have been uncomfortable having to pass several city blocks through this, even on rickshaw.
Nandan tells me a lot of strange things about Muslims, and he gives me the impression while being extremely polite and non-direct that Muslims might all be crazy. I might write more later, but one thing that he told me is that Muslim males, when before they urinate, will collect a stone from the street. After finishing, they wipe moisture from themselves with the stone and then discard it.
I also missed class today (Thurs) and yesterday due to cancellation. I asked for no explanation, and I think that I may look for other Hindi teachers despite my liking these. I paid Nandan Rs 1800 today for a month room and board. He originally wanted 1500 but I have been eating two meals daily with him and I offered something more. I have no idea what is appropriate. I would have paid Rs 3000 without thinking twice and more if he had asked, but I do not know what the habit should be.
I withdrew Rs 12000 from some ATM a couple of days ago. I checked my online account and the exchange rate was $1 = Rs 44, and a transaction fee of $2.75 was posted. Possibly some international ATM usage fee will post also in the next few days. If I spent Rs 12000 a month ($275) I would think of this as an inexpensive place to be.
I bought propane tank with 4kg of gas and a range for Rs 430 today. Bottled water is Rs 10 per liter for me and Rs 8.5 for Nandan, and he says my consumption should be 5L / day. The gas, he says, will boil all my water for six months.
He took me shopping at a place called Jalan’s. I got business casual, two shirts at Rs 190 and one slacks at Rs 250, and that included hemming. All are cotton/poly, which is great for the shirts and okay for now for the pants, although later I may want cotton only. On my own and elsewhere I got socks and underwear at Rs 30 per pair, t-shirts at Rs 100, and a tie at Rs 90. All are of a quality that I find pleasing.
Nandan applied for a bank job today. He said there were some 250 positions and that there will be some huge number of applicants. I think he may have said lakhs. This level of unemployment is strange to me.